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How to correct in Love


To learn, you must love discipline; it is stupid to hate correction. (Proverbs 12:1 NLT)
You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. (James 1:19)

Again humility comes to my mind. You cannot be prideful and correct in love, or receive a loving correction with pride. I personally prefer it, when someone shoots it straight to me. If my attitude is off and my actions are poor, I appreciate to be corrected in love. Now don’t get me wrong, there have been times when my pride got in the way, or it was a tough humbling pill to swallow. But in all situations I have grown and learned something.
It is very important to discern the differences between a loving rebuke and a harsh judgment. You cannot rebuke anyone out of frustration or annoyance. The right way to rebuke someone is in love.
An open rebuke is better than hidden love!  Proverbs 27:5

It is very important to ask God for wisdom. You have to be filled with the Holy Spirit to know the right timing to speak and the sensitivity in your tone. I also noticed, when I’m transparent and use my personal experience to shed light on a possible danger the person could avoid, they are more likely to receive it then me just pounding on them and making them drown in their misery.

Here is an example on how NOT to correct: I was very emotionally involved with my close friends relationship. We shared a lot personal stuff and kept each other accountable. There were some things about her attitude I was not understanding and realized I became frustrated with her. One evening after prayer meeting, she confided in me about breaking up with her boyfriend and I lost it. I began to share some concerns I had with her and didn’t even realize my tone was raised. What was supposed to be a private conversation turned out to be exposed by all the people who where standing around us. I began to cry, and tried to reason with her about her relationship. I was angry at the situation. She was shocked of my reaction and embarrassed to deal with this in front of other people. When I look back, I get very sad. I got ahead of myself and totally lost control. When I realized what happened, it was to late and I felt stupid. The consequences of this scenario almost cost me my friendship with her. She was very hurt by my actions and we didn’t speak much for over 1 ½. But thanks to God for His amazing grace, He has restored our friendship and is building it up. I surely learned my lesson. Please do not make the same mistake.

Now by God’s grace I seek Him first, secondly I pray, daily I spent time in God’s Word, I ask for wisdom, and wait for God's timing. Trust me you do not want to be outside of the God’s will, it will fire back at you. Sometimes we feel the need or think we have the right to speak up to quickly. There is a time and place for everything. Trust God, and allow him to correct you and others. If he wants you to do it, he will make it clear.
 If you feel the burning need to correct someone, please make sure you go before God and search your heart. Are your motives pure? Do you have a concern for the persons well being? Are you sincerely interested in helping the person? Do you want what is best for the person?
…Or is it about you proving a point? You want to up one on another person?  You got easily offended and need to retaliate? Your pride got in the way? Or you are frustrated with the situation?  
Once you get the green light from the Lord, you are good to go. You also don’t want to waste any ones time and beat around the bush. Get straight to the point and honestly share what God has placed in your heart to express a concern to the other person. The Holy Spirit will help you and guide you through the conversation.
It’s amazing what God’s grace can do, when you make yourself available to Jesus and allow him to do the work He he needs to do in you.

Lord I pray that in every situation I'm filled by your Holy Spirit. Please do not allow me to get a head of myself and your perfect will and possibly ruin things out of selfishness. I humble myself before you and ask that you will continue to guide my every thought and actions. Please don't let any of my weaknesses cause anyone to stumble, but let it be used as a learning experience and for your glory. God I'm so grateful to be your child and to learn everything that I need in life. If you lay on my heart to rebuke someone, please let it be done in your perfect love. I trust you and thank you for your grace. You said if we ask for wisdom, you will give it to us generously. Let us never take that for granted. As always teach me your ways and use me for your glory. Love you Lord. In Jesus name I pray. Amen. 

By Nicole Crews

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